Really, that Accidental Santera book helped reassure me a bit about making ocha.

As I read it, I found I was thinking about how I’ll react when I’m in that position.

Most of my thoughts, worries, etc. while I read about it were over silly little things.

Like when we go to the river… In the story, the woman was brought to a nearby river and part of what she remembered of the experience was some homeless guy who had been living under the bridge nearby as well as the trash along the side of the river and in it. Not exactly a pretty picture. I don’t think I could handle that if it happened to me. lol. I dunno… If I was in that situation, I just picture myself walking into the river and a nice big shard of broken glass going into my foot. heh. Once we figure out where I’m crowning, though, I guess we can scope out a few areas and try to find a place that would be “Oshun approved”. Nice, secluded, and one that I’ll have a good memory of.

Beyond that, I think the only other part in the book that got me thinking was the dancing and stuff on the third day. All I could imagine was that I’d end up being so nervous, exhausted, hot, claustrophobic, etc. that being there with all of those people would end up being too much for me to handle. Normally, at a tambor, I’m in back along the outskirts. Even without dancing, I still end up needing to take breaks to sit, go outside away from the crowd for a bit, etc. And it’s damned hard for me to even stay from the start of the tambor (or at least getting there just before they sing to Elegua or whatever) and the end of it. So it’s difficult picturing myself under the throne for all that time. People do it all the time, I know. It’s just hard for me to picture with myself there.

But there weren’t really any parts of the book where I looked at what was going on and thought it wasn’t something I could do or handle.

I look forward to receiving the orisha (especially Ochun!) and to have my ide and know I went through the process and am a better person because of it.

I’m confident I can handle whatever comes out in my Ita and can abide by the restrictions that will be put on me while I’m an iyawo.

Really, I think I’m more stressed about stuff that most other folks don’t even think about — dancing, being active in the community, and even just being able to properly crack open a coconut to make Obi pieces. lol.

Whether it’s books I’ve read, people I’ve talked to, or just random things I’ve seen online, everyone else seems to have life-changing direct experiences that bring them to ocha. For me, I’ve sort of just meandered in that direction on my own without a whole lot happening. I’ve met some really nice people and had a good time learning about the religion. But I haven’t really had anything (good or bad) that I would be able to without-a-doubt consider a personal religious experience.

So I’m still waiting on that. And in the meantime, I’m still saving up for ocha